Time Goes By...

14 years ago today I came out. It was my first father's day since my dad had died. June 18th, 1995. Taking a moment to reflect... This is a story I wrote to go along with an invitation I sent out for my 10 Year Queer party I had 4 yrs ago.

"Well on June 18th 1995 not really knowing what I was getting into I strolled down to City Hall in Calgary where I was living at the time and decided to check out some rally that was going on. I read about it in the newspaper and it peaked my interest. Being 17 and quite new to town I thought that I could make some new friends at this event and perhaps allow myself to discover something about myself that's always been. I had always felt some sort of connection to this crowd, the outsiders, the rebels... My father had passed earlier that year and with that I was on the verge of discovering a new found freedom from him that was forever going to change my life for the better and give me experiences that prior to that moment I could only dream about.

So Mom drops me off not too far from the rally itself, "be careful" she said as I closed the car door, she knew that what was going to take place that day would perhaps give me the happiness or connectedness that she knew I longed for. It was only the day before she saw me make this big sign at home with felt markers and Bristol board that I wanted take to the rally with me. I'm sure she was just a little curious about my motive but then again I can't say that this ambition was anything I was in control of and in a way was guiding me to where I needed to go.

In search of an identity that I could call my own, I walked with my big sign over to where all the people were gathering. There were lots of people there, more than maybe I would have thought as it was damp and cold cause it had been raining all day. Without saying much to anyone, I began to feel a internal comfort just by being close to it all and as I stood there in the rain, my sign all wet and mess I knew that I'd finally come home. That was the day I came out..."