New year, new reality...

Well we're already a full week into the new year can you believe it? Everything we said we were going to do this year all of a sudden means we have to do it. My world as I knew it in 2007 will be very different from 2008. Not only is there the new career this year but it's also the year of the big 3-0.

I'm not afraid of it at all, I recently saw a few books about how scary it can be for people and that it can be a premature mid life crisis to a certain degree. I think if the shit was going to hit the fan then that might have been last year or even potentially 2006 when I was feeling much less confident in what I'm about or what I'm doing. I don't look old at all which I think helps with this supposed "transition" and I certainly don't feel "old" by any stretch of the word. Although I must confess I just changed one of my online dating profile names today to something without a "78" in it so that I'm not pre-judged based on my age. No one wants to be gyped of a fair chance and if this is the year I meet the husband I'm going to need all the exposure I can get! I do think that think that there is ageism within the queer community, probably more so than the straight community, the "mo's" can be so fickle! Although with that said I also think that 30 today is alot different than what 30 was even just 5 years ago. You've heard the saying "50 is the new 40" and "40 is the new 30", so if all that is true then I'm about to celebrate my 20th birthday all over again. Woo hoo!

Aside from the 30 thing, there is the whole new career element to this year which is exciting. I haven't landed anything yet but I will continue to meet with companies this month to finalize my options. There has been a whole whack of new postings on the job sites this week so today is all about applying to as many as I see relevant to my experience. I'm feeling great about my resume and cover letter, I sent it off to my Aunt out west who has done so much HR work over the last 20 years in the financial industry to see what improvements I could make. I love the small changes we made and if anything it gives me a extra boost of confidence when I'm applying for some of the more competitive positions. This employment seeking stuff can get pretty monotonous but every so often you come across a posting that actually inspires you and gets you thinking about the possibilities.

I flashback to a just under a year ago sitting in my manager's office nearly in tears because it was my annual review and the company had nothing to offer me in the sense of the next step. I remember feeling so dissapointed not so much in myself but rather my situation and thinking about how stuck I was. Everyone around me was coming to me for development and a career path and yet the one person who was supposed to inspire me and feed my drive... couldn't. I had forgotten what was it was like to be hungry for something like a promotion. At that point it had been a over a year since I had given up my own store to take on this speciality role at the flagship. No matter how successful my annual review was, I was empty inside because I felt so let down by a company that I had put so much heart and soul into.

A couple years ago compensation and title were everything to me but now as I look out to my future which will be shaped by the decisions I make over the next couple of months, I am focused also now on a career that needs to take to me to places I've never been. At some point I need to start growing again and when I look at what opportunities at coming at me, it's growth that motivates me the most. After all I'm not getting any younger, no matter what pop culture says...