15 Year Queer

15 years ago today I came out... I know most people don't have the day pegged like I do but for me it's easy to remember as it was my first Father's Day without my Dad. 5 years ago I threw a crazy party and had 30 people over to my place to celebrate my 10th anniversary. While totally self-indulgent - It was a good time and completely over the top. Little known fact about that party is that two good friends of mine Joe and John met officially there and have been together ever since. What you'll read below is a little story I wrote about my experience that I composed for that party.


Well on June 18th 1995 not really knowing what I was getting into, I strolled down to City Hall in Calgary where I was living at the time and decided to check out some rally that was going on. I read about it in the newspaper and it peaked my interest. Being 17 and quite new to town I thought that I could make some new friends at this event and perhaps allow myself to discover something about myself that's always been. I had always felt some sort of connection to this crowd, the outsiders, the rebels... My father had passed earlier that year. I was on the verge of discovering a new found freedom from him that was forever going to change my life for the better and give me experiences that prior to that moment, I could only dream about.

So Mom drops me off not too far from the rally itself, "be careful" she said as I closed the car door, she knew that what was going to take place that day would perhaps give me the happiness or connectedness that she knew I longed for. It was only the day before she saw me make this big sign at home with felt markers and bristol board that I wanted take with me to the rally. I'm sure she was just a little curious about my motive but then again I can't say that this ambition was anything I was in control of and in a way was guiding me to where I needed to go.

In search of an identity that I could call my own, I walked with my big sign over to where all the people were gathering. There were lots of people there, more than maybe I would have thought as it was damp and cold cause it had been raining all day. Without saying much to anyone, I began to feel a internal comfort just by being close to it all and as I stood there in the rain, my sign all wet and mess I knew that I'd finally come home. That was the day I came out...