Something to Remember

Disappointment is probably the best word to describe my mood today. Even though I knew that it would all end in tears, I tried really hard to make it work with a boy but it was against all odds. I've been battling loneliness all summer long and while I don't know why that is - it's made me extra sensitive when it comes to matters of the heart. In retrospect I wish I wouldn't have taken this latest affair so seriously and not invested into it as emotionally as I did. Instead I jumped in with both feet and hoped for the best. Love makes you do crazy things and it can really make you believe in the "possible" when in reality it's the impossible that you should be paying attention to. Two worlds so different cannot be one. I don't know how long I will feel this way - his memory keeps haunting me whenever I have a drifting moment. This open wound can now heal and not be picked at anymore. Giving up on the hope that it will all work out is a bit of a relief. No more wondering. No more doubting. No more not feeling good enough. Time is a wonderful thing in how it lets you move on from situations like this. The loss of love needs to be grieved and hopefully the more I let myself do that, the more I can begin to feel better. Maybe this fall someone special will come into my world and this whole ordeal will be nothing but a summer fling that didn't work out. He's given me something to remember.

I had all my bets laid out on you
Sets your stakes too high
You're bound to lose
In the game of love
I've paid my dues

I guess I waited for my place in your sun
Wish I had the chance to know you and it wasn't stormy weather
What a shame
Who's to blame