Destiny

The other day... OK it was yesterday I came across an old b-side from Madonna's Ray of Light album that I totally forgot about. OK maybe I didn't forget about it but I certainly lost touch with how much it means to me if that makes any sense. It's an anthem for those of us who feel hopeful & for those of us out there who feel like they still haven't found their destiny. Take what you will from it but it certainly seems to be close to my heart right now for many reasons. It's just the phase I'm in...

Every so often I question myself, my lifestyle, the choices I've made, the things I've done. I think about where I've been, where I'm going, that kind of thing. It's something I'm sure everyone goes through from time to time. Some days are hard, others a little bit harder. I feel like I'm letting myself down sometimes by not playing smarter or fighting harder. Difficult to explain really but nonetheless one day it will all wash out in the rain & after the storm has passed there will be plenty of sunshine.

HAS TO BE
(Madonna/ William Orbit)

Breathe in, breathe out
I say a little prayer
How the gods above
Could be so unfair

[Chorus:]
I know there's someone out there
Waiting for me
There must be someone out there
There just has to be

Go on, go on
Don't sit there like a fool
You've graduated from
A different kind of school

I should be glad that I'm alive
It could have been much worse
I might have never loved at all
And never known what I am worth

How the gods above
Could be so unfair

On the Rebound...

After last week's emotional rollercoaster I can say with certainty that things have leveled out. Today's post won't be a big one as I don't have much to say.
I was out yesterday enjoying this beautiful Indian summer we're having. JJ & I ran a few errands together & then we went to the park. His confidence in the park has grown so much over the last month. It's hard to imagine a time when he wasn't as outgoing, especially with other dogs. His new thing yesterday was chasing squirrels up trees, he seems to really like the chase. There was even a time yesterday when I thought I lost him... Needless to say knowing now that he's a bit more courageous I have to watch what trouble he'll get himself into.

Life After Death...

This week has being really weird for me and it's totally taken me by surprise. I didn't expect to be this affected by a tragic event that happened last Thursday. When I first heard the news I had no idea how much it was going to impact my world.

Last Saturday, while I was in Rochester, my boss called to tell me that someone I knew had passed away. I hadn't been close to the person in quite some time but nonetheless the news was hard to hear. I had spoken to him only the week before and even that was a fluke because he only called me because he thought he was calling somebody else. He sounded down, him and his partner of 8 yrs had just broken up the day before. That news at the time was shocking as Gary & Michael were inseparable in my mind. To learn that they split in some way took a hit at my hope that I'll ever be able to find something like that for myself. Anyway Michael sounded disappointed obviously but he also had a hint of optimism saying that they were going to "do it right". When you spend so much time with someone you get used to sharing your life, to walk away from that isn't the easiest thing to do...

Rochester

There's something about going there that just makes me happy. I can't tell you the strange looks I get when I say I'm going there for a weekend. I've brought several friends along with me now over the years and each has had a great time and even some have made return trips with me just because they liked it so much. For me it's two things: Friends & Shopping. It's also nice to just get away every once & awhile & even though it's only about a 3 hour drive, when you get there it's feels like you're in a different world. Maybe it's the NY accents, maybe it's the feeling that you're not in the big city anymore, who knows... but I will say it's certainly makes a great weekend trip. Anyway this time 'round I have myself quite the shopping list and the cash to make it happen. Daddy needs some new things...